My wife needs this tape dispenser, apparently.

George Washington has a goiter.

LMAO

Somehow @wldktlvr is now named Heather. I'm ok with this.

The very definition of creepy.

Really #Newsweek? The medal of freedom? Tell me you fired your editor. And Marines are not soldiers! They're Marines!

Oh hell yeah!

Me and my daughter.

Our Marine Corps League guys (and gal) with our banner. #USMC #toysfortots

Carrying the #Marine colors at the parade. #toysfortots #USMC

Placerville Christmas parade. Marching with Marine Corps League 697 for #toysfortots

And chances are none of them have tp.

What the hell? #airportweets

In case I forgot where I was this morning.

I think those are mainly to help locate the wreckage in case of a water landing. #airportweets

How I pack for a weeklong trip.

Fuck you if you're crippled.

My in-flight entertainment. Might have to start over though.

Wish I was flying with Santa and Dora the explorer.

I will not be leaving the couch today.