Way 2 go Sam's!Fake flowers in plastic champagne glasses that now adorn your eating tables TOTALLY classes up the joint

@TomsWildLife my dog Rocket is dressing up as Bette Davis for Halloween

Dear Halloween,
F You.
Love, Christmas

You know the economy is bad when Jesus has to do yardwork...

Found in my freezer this morning.ObiWan & KitFisto were"eaten by a magical vehicle that freezes them".Or so I'm told

Since fortune cookies are never wrong, I predict @BradPaisley will add more tour dates & I will get a meet & greet

I relate

We've been in the car too long now and have run out of ways to entertain ouselves...

A "Bushwacker" at the Florabama means you're on vacation :)

This is my mindset today. Thank you very much, children who live here

This is my mindset today. Thank you very much, children who live here!

Bought a donut maker yesterday. Who wants to guess what my kids' first words were to me this morning?

@Alyssa_Milano I love my dog because he lets my kids do this to him and still wags his tail

Nacho "Lab"re

@Ellen_Avery I found your cute cowboy

@AlbertBrooks I call this "happy father's day"

If you know me, this is funny

Anybody else see the irony?

"What? They're both plaid! It totally matches!" ~ my 11 year old son