Wife just ordered a BLT containing ONE POUND OF BACON. and bacon-infused mayo.

Out running errands. Want to bring this home, but wife would KILL ME.

I am worried this chandelier is going to fall and crush me. It is possible that alcohol makes me paranoid.

Mosaic river ice, Chicago River edition:

Watching the game with my parents via Skype. 400 miles never felt so close.

Merry Christmas, Rock Band version:

Seems to have been a fire around 500n Michigan. Yikes, kids.

Leaving for fancy work party and could not get a decent pic of myself. Did get an (accidental) pic of my rack.

New prescription of comically large pills OMFG. The dime us there for scale.

Spent a full minute digging in a drawer for a pen before turning around and seeing this. And I do this DAILY.

My breathtaking stupidity, fire-alarm-battery- changing version.

Truth in advertising: this guy on a cold medicine advertisement at O'hare airport looks TOTALLY HIGH.

Fake vampire bite tattoo? What fake vampire bite tattoo?

Film done, now for GIANT VODKA CRANBERRY. #fb

My wife is the biggest geek ever.

I seem to have a major headache and I don't know why.

"Bowling pin" bottle, my ass. That there is a sextoy I want nothing to do with.

New furniture!

Grandma Fisher was born in this house (better pics to come from my Dad's camera later) #fb

Mom visiting with Ricky and Maddy.