What Dick Cheney would say if he wrote a State of the Union.. Cut page from his book

@loveline found the porno poster

@SpencerPratt Christmas '99 via @HeidiMontag

Signed up!! #tlot RT @MicheleBachmann Click this link to sign up for the Bachmann Bulletin, my email newsletter

Outdated. #BushFail @KarlRove

@BorowitzReport that would explain why Mississippi is the fattest state 7 years in a row. Solution? Fat benches.

@billmaher Her latest shitty book? Funny..I'm listening to Ann Coulter's latest shitty album. She's lookin younger

My boss thinks it's cool to wear purple sweater vests.So I made him a jump to conclusion mat to reevaluate hislife

best. ringtone. ever. #BackToTheFuture and switch it up with some #batman and chicks can't resist my fly tones

Oh, now that's a low fucking blow @batman

Change we can believe in #Obama

Best payphone ever.

Addicting series. It's like Twilight.. for pubescent people. #GameOfThrones

hanging out with Lewis Black in his dressing room after the show 10/10/10 Unfuckreal.

Only in a house full of lesbians

And this.....

It's this kind of shit that makes me want to shoot myself...

omg @NOMtweets look it's two gays eating a homosexual (Mulatto) cookie...

Probably shouldn't have gone back to work after getting stitches, but poor people have no choice.. Pelosi cut me.

@anamariecox I didn't know NOM had a Twitter.. I'm going to seduce Maggie Gallager & folks with pride pictures now @nomtweets