I live in an area where "party biscuits" are a thing. And now you are jealous of my life.

My daughter is the worst Christian ever.

Okay, nobody dared me, but I'm going to post it anyway. My wife discovered Tracy Morganerez.

I've posted this before. I'm not trying to preach, I just think everyone should know about this:

You guys. Apparently, It's much, much worse than anyone thought. 102 out of 103 people have herpes.

Yes. Very strong first tweet, woman with a small baby who just started following me.

Our love is strong. Even if one of us eats an occasional dooky-ball, totally doesn't matter.

When a tweet gets very few stars, but the starers are really funny, I count them as, like, 50 a piece.

I get more out of staring at this illustration for 10 min., than watching TV for 4 hrs. J.Frederick Smith=genius

Photo: Check out my fancy new bow tie. (Adopted her this weekend)

My 6 yr old can draw the hell out of a face. And she knows it.

GPFSTW (Gratuitous Picture From Spain Trip Wednesday)

I don't have words to match up to this. At least, no non-cheesy words.

Our escorts into Allicante, Spain.

On a sailboat in the Mediterranean. Some people are good at acting like they've been there before. Not me.

For 9/02/10 day, I will honor Luke Perry by expressing my emotions using only my forehead.

My wife just said I'm self-absorbed & that I don't listen. Whatever. Anyway, posting a picture of my new haircut.

Ooh, so close. This would be called a REVERSE SNAKE EYES!!!

Ladies and gentlemen, that right there is a stone cold regional champion. And me (not in leotard).