How can someone like Ozzy Osbourne have spawned such unlikeable children? Privilege but still a profile pic like that?

Not strictly true.

Thanks to these guys for a fun night out.

The beautiful @pecagalore diva-ing it up with SingStar! Bonnie Tyler in case you were wondering!

Well. Wow. A small child. With a heartbeat. How amazing. #FatherhoodBeckons

@greatbigbadger Just for you...

I'd never tasted Pussy until today. I can honestly say though now, that I love the taste of Pussy!

Might need a new iPhone cable...

It'd be cooler if it were real Lego. It's still pretty cool though.

Look at this prick's parking. What a flipping douche.

My arse. It's about as spooky as Christmas.

This Ikea 'cheesecake' is how I imagine the aliens in 2001 would make something that was a facsimile of cheesecake.

This photo won an award. Why exactly? #Mentalist

Six months after ordering it, look what's arrived! Probably the last Blu-ray I'll ever buy... #CouldntBeHappierThough

It's nice living in the city. You get to see mad things like this on your walk to Tesco.

And I STILL don't have a Logitech wheel why?!

@Mummykins Creepy much?

@jbjon Witness Sainabury's last week!

The Nottingham Council House clock tower, closer than I've ever been to it before!

I took this ten years ago. I still like it though.