Guys, I'm going there. GUISE.

Rainbow-colored glass dildo. For my vagina. YESSSS.

Amazing kitty at the Humane Society yesterday. WANTED HIM.

Peeps: check out this weird ass dildo I just got to review. It's called the SPLIT DILDO.

The zombies have left me a useful note.

The help section of Plants vs. Zombies is as awesome as the rest of the game.

This is not so much a hint about my next giveaway as it is a BLATANT REVEAL. Whatevs, peeps.

My WordPress dashboard is now PIMPED OUT.

Guess what I have? It's GREEN RANDY! Thanks @RedSneakerDiary!

Tiny dildo... and it's not golden... at all.

Shiny, golden dildo package from @ErosandIsis! Talk about eco-friendly!

A rare Epiphora TwitPic: squirting aftermath. Please note THE FLOOR.

Butt toy and vaginal balls drawer.

Front of toy chest.

Top of toy chest.

In case you were wondering, this is how the Eroscillator works.

Evan Stone as awkward carnie!

Rest in peace, Xtreme Pack.

Cal Exotic sexual orientation FAIL.