Why are trainer socks neither use nor fucking ornament once they've been washed?!

Just 1/1,000,000 of the books that need a home... #moving

Sunflower bucket, day 5 #danssunflowerbucket:

Yeah, and that's my excuse for being a fat bastard too:

Sunflower bucket, day 1 #danssunflowerbucket

@Doilydolly What is this?! You unfollowed me?!?

"You may have won, but @simon_lamb fisted your mum last night"

This little fucker is getting none of my tasty sandwich...:

Ham, cheese and crisps sandwich. I know how to treat myself. #crunchytweet

Oh. Robin Gibb is dead. Toothpaste will never be the same again.

#WW108 #giro

Today's word on dictionary.com is Mensch. It means almost the exact opposite of @louisemensch:

IS THAT IT?! Fuck me...I wanted more to show for it than that.

I have no idea just how #plumbingsongs has attracted so many spambots:

SHOCK HORROR! The Sun finally reports news!

Hardly the most confidence-boosting thing you'll see in a barber's shop window...:

Undoubtedly the way to put me off looking at the wine list:

@simon_lamb Two in the pink...

Far be it from me to criticise other peoples' photos, but fuck me. Ghastly. And a front cover, too!

Day 16, #30daysofbiking: Low gear, high cadence. Also known as "pottering about".