Meditation of the morning: I'm never going back to Florida, ever.

I'm not really the "inspirational picture of the day" type, but I hear this message loud and clear this morning

@bionicelbow POP QUIZ: Your birthday will A) Save the economy or B) Kill us all--WRONG ANSWER IT'S BOTH

Day 4 of abdominal pains. I don't have insurance (thx republicans) and nothing else worked, so I'm going nuclear.

If the alabaster lorica segmentata fits...

Follow the link to view more details or to create your own Tweet Cloud: http://w33.us/bl0b

This is one of the most frightening things I've seen on Craigslist.

Yes.

Since we can't play Street Fighter during the commercials this year, I have to find a new Super Bowl Party game...

Murray Christmas!

It took 16 months to find someone willing to ship it here; 5 more to get it into the country. Still, great timing!

@D_Amuzin fucked up my plan to use this pic to announce that I got an iPad yesterday. Tell him he sucks (nicely).

When I saw this, I shat bricks.

Man, I am ordering a pizza for fucking BREAKFAST. Do you really need to make me feel worse about this right now?

BREAKING NEWS: @TIME magazine demonstrates why traditional media is a total damn joke. #sleepnowinthefire

Toasted coconut s'more brownies. Real men bake on Friday nights.

Drawn last night, I think. Please note that the mouth is just the word "yes" that is saying the word "no."

Earlier, I turned my Starbucks napkin into a flag of the Jolliest of Rogers. Behold: the Skull and Crossboners.

My new desktop wallpaper: David Rubin's "Scene in Edmond Bay - Bears and Killer Whales Compete for Sea lions"

My favorite moment of #NYCC had nothing to do with my costume Friday; it was meeting an Internet icon on Saturday.