I'm sure it's safe to assume that this is your handiwork, @tylercrea:

Oddly enough, @creepatorus and I found this grammatical gem in the parking lot of Denny's.

Now this is just all kinds of racist.

Two girls. One cup. (@creepatorus)

It looked better in person. Before my family and a dog got at it.

I snack hard.

After:

Before:

Industrial-sized fanny pack.

I don't have a problem. I can stop whenever I want.

You know. Just spending my day whale watching. No big. (@juliagriffith lolz)

I was a smart little fucker in the first grade:

Oh hey, @juliagriffith. I had no idea you were in this movie. #superstar

I saw what I came to Chicago for (and no, it wasn't @PrincessJGriff)

Stereotypically obligatory "Bean" pic with @PrincessJGriff. #chicagolove

Boobs in your face. Six packs and boobs? That's a little generous. (@PrincessJGriff)

Twinsies! (@juliagriffith, DVD courtesy of @tylercrea)

God damn it.

This is what I get for buying an umbrella at CVS:

My birthday gift to myself: #valentinesday2011