This place has glass elevators. Spent the last hour pretending I was a 80's movie villian.

Guys, always remember.

You can't get HIV from Gatorade can you?

Way to spell 'impassable' @CNNLive #hurricaneirene

Wonder how many people crash their car while watching their odometer roll over to 20,000? #justhappened #didntcrash

I'm not calling you Wacky-poo, Linus. #stupiddog

Two bottles of wine, water, and instant rice. The woman behind is having a lonely Friday night.

Captain America sweepstakes on Canada Dry Ginger Ale. How did no one catch that one?

Never seen anything so sad. At least be selective @Brandazzle. Eleven in an hour? Why?

About a half a milliliter away from the wedding.

Are all these people heading to @margiekment's wedding weekend?

@macpisho haha, your party is going better than the bar show I am at. This is part of the wall art.

Troubadour. @dadourianbow

Here is a pic of @Chase__Chase taking a picture of something stupid. #growup

Luxury Remodelated Apartment

If they are selling Batman Chucks, I am buying Batman Chucks.

Whatever you do, don't cut electrical cords with scissors.

This was my first ever comedy notebook. No joke.

Hey Bridgetowners!! You are missing out on this. #twins @grantpa @Chase__Chase

This is why I don't own a cat.