Red carpet time.Gin ticklingly happy at this point. #MoonriseKingdom #Cannes2012

P.Diddy party at VIP last night,where I got stuck on a revolving stage getting gin handed to me?Mega! #Cannes2012

Rich bloke fears his recent purchase of The Scream may be a forgery.

ARCHIVE EXCLUSIVE! Heather Mills steals Tardis & travels to 1969, after reading proposed divorce settlement.

Normal service will be resumed on Sunday - please leave a message after the beep...

Hot Cross Nun...

Dior Homme or....

Give a big smile for Jeremy Kyle.

What fresh hell is this? #BritishPieWeek

Showbiz News: Candace Bushnell to rewrite The Wizard of Oz.

First Jacko, then Amy, then Whitney and now that bloke from Steps. #Tragedeee

Cupid forgets to send flowers. #Happy Valentines Day.

God reported to be 'angry' as photo of Jesus on a night out with Prince Harry is leaked to the press.

Cheese addiction claims another showbiz victim.

How observant are you? There's a handful of Knighthoods up for grabs for the winners.

Prof Stephen Hawking has been simmering this amazing fact in a test tube over a Bunsen Burner since Christmas.

Inspired by Kelvin Mackenzie,Waitrose unveil award winning window display.

The face that terrorised Carol Singers before chewing up half the prezzies under the tree. #LittleSod

America refuses the gift of 2 free turkeys from Britain (we can't even give them away) #Happy Thanksgiving

Just back from my annual school reunion. I'm centre, first row. #HappyHalloween