Last night I got hammered...so today I bought a car. Um, yup.

Just missing the ironic tshirt and Hipster Vader will be complete.

What's happening? Oh, you know, just chillin...

Ladies, please contain yourselves. My new guitar is quite sexy.

I gave that bitch a business card. Bitches love business cards.

I made a pop filter for my mic for < $5. It's pretty poopin' sexy.

I stole these socks from my Dad. Do those look like sperm to you?

See, @davemccauley, breakfast of champs

Melodic Death Metal = Christian Singles? WTF Google Ads?

This guy is programming the door with a BlackBerry. It was opening and closing REALLY fast during this

Drive Fast and Break Shit. 1 on my iPod has more BLS. Additional suggestions?

@AndyMilonakis I know I missed the deadline. Background ain't impressive, but the beard is.

Laziest costume of the year goes to: Matt Matonich as Sam Kinison. Best part is that I pull it off.

Mullet that I had for about 10 minutes before my first Mohawk.