I've bought a hat like Anthony Eden's because it makes me feel like a lord.

Here's Bill O'Reilly getting some serious loofah on as Peter King lies about the fruits of torture. As seen on TV!

@studio_gal @ellagreeneyes Here's a shot of Ian from March of last year. He's quite a bit bigger, but just as cute!

@PrecisionGrace My cat stealing a nap in my niece's car seat. Magenta's my baby; great to see her in a baby seat!

Oh, for fuck's sake, Keebler! No one wants to put anything in your goddamned cones other than ice cream! #oogy

Hah! Lookit how Oral-B packaged their toofbrushes to show off every voluptuous angle!

Looks like someone went to a helluva lot of trouble to put together this unsightly, creepy ad. Looks about 1974.

Perhaps there was a time in my life I'd have thought this was funny... Squished squeakies? Dunno, do not want!

These gift bags are some of the many reasons that I rock as an uncle.

Did you know? There is no self portrait that cannot be improved with a sharp haircut and limp celery.

@SiDawson It's a week of impaling. Here I am cleverly posing in harm's way (under oak that dropped scary branch)

Put a waxed-paper-wrapped wedge of pizza to defrost in microwave, which yielded cube steak. Fuckin' ALCHEMY, yo!

Poor kitty clocked herself. She's never had great peripheral vision, consequently prone to the occasional shiner.

@Ali_Davis Here also is an excellent job!

What are you squirreling safely away from family members? With me, it's the 2-headed Sharpie & my trusty Uni-ball.

@Ali_Davis Rreminds me of the Surinam toad, from my World Book, which has been creeping me out for 38 yrs (don't look)

@insomnius Here's my little 7 lb wonder, Magenta. I've had her for 10 years, and she is just the most excellent cat!

Crushing of the Uni-ball is evident in the annotation "Mamaw."

Beloved little cat recovering from outdoor misadventure; front claws shredded, sore eye. Vet is on case. Only supervised trips outside now.

This was in the bottom of a box of mini lights. Is it Santa's bouf? Does it emerge, then check for its own shadow?