@SimonSaysBrown Special Big Dog order @ Jimmy Deans: Breakfast Burrito w/french fries inside instead of hashbrowns.

80+ years of living and this old dipshit still doesn't realize that my car can annihilate him and his ugly little dog.

The future of America...

@MiksMcFly Claimin' Coookies cuzin.

@miksmcfly @SimonSaysBrown Prack-tissssss!

Congratulations to Me...and Me.

No shave November still goin strong...

Today was going swell until my babygurl @jordanLAcity made it unreal and oh so edible when she sent me this:

Did my lil brother's diet 4 his tournament today & got him on weight & in decent shape. Need 2 lose some lbs? Hit me up

Got so sick of viewing the world in standard definition I had to crack thee ol' piggy bank for a pair of HD glasses.

@MiksMcFly Twin? Twins? Pinsans? Roes?

@RobRiches @UKTeam_Optimum #RobRiches RT Halloween Cannons! Thanks to Rob's online tips!

@SteviePereida Aren't you proud of me?

@Freak8R Not too bad for coming out of retirement. Last swallow at 6:15.

Here we go...@miksmcfly and Funnyman doin the 50 McNugget challenge!

@charliesheen Wild Thing'ing!! Bringing the Heat!! #showit2sheen

@Freak8R Found this in my old phone. Big Johns (40 seconds in) lol jk.

Any cute babes out there that want me to look for clues about their health, and reproductive potential?

@Freak8R Practicing...