Son insisted on having a cinnamon & raisin bagel. We didn't have any, so I improvised with toast and a cookie-cutter.

Yeah. Fuck........that.

Disabled toilet.

Rapscallions.

In case you thought I was joking about the 'vegetarian' chicken and leek soup...

Judging by the sign, it would appear that the cleaner here is a robot dog with a dildo for a nose.

My son got given a classic toy - a View-Master. He also got given some THRILLING slides.

@Gary_Bainbridge Or this, from my local newspaper... Large WHAT collider?!

Here's a picture of me, taken when I was a stone lighter.

I haven't been following Leveson today, but I once found an uprooted tree-stump that looked like Rebekah Brooks.

Here endeth my troubles.

Yes! YES! YESSSSSSSSSS!

Anyone need any 'Willie Shrinkles'?

Right. Bollocks to it. Here's a photo I took. Print it off and rotate the bloody thing however you like.

There you go. It's the right way round now. *sigh*

Evil waffle iron on tonight's Great British Menu:

This picture is on the wall of the pub. It is fucking BRILLIANT.

Here's a picture I took when I worked as a press photographer.

This drink tastes funny...