He/she, locked up, their foldable scooter. My brain hurts Mr. Gumby.

Dear @McDonalds, this is how everyone in NYC is forced to eat at your "high-quality-cafe" locations.

A classy upgrade to our "idiots" NYC subway poster series...color! #1of5

I remember this guy not giving two shits about sitting like a buffoon. #blackhistorymonth

It's 0048 Saturday morning and those tolerant of this should not be entrusted with our future.

The Google Map plane tracker is either not loading or we've veered into Heaven at 37,000 feet.

0.5 guesses how annoying the guy next to me is in this load of crap LAX television-less terminal. He sat on my drink.

Thus, a peacenik with too many kids, a SUV, in a fast food lane...no, not hypocritical.

After 15 yrs, Mor's Carl's Jr. suit finally has a codpiece.

The gal. of gas to drive to/from Walmart costs 50% more than the large package of delicious junk food. That's savings!

From here on, whenever someone passes Iraq judgement on W. Bush, show them this paragraph from Time in 1998.

If you're doing a school paper on pre-millennial America, may I suggest this laundromat's current events library.

Hey @JackBox, guess how you can save 1K's a day. 1 item = 11.25 in? That's what she...

Sherman kept asking me my take on Atlanta. I told him it was a dreadful placed, akin to hell I'd like seen burnt.

From this angle, I would've shot the sailors too. Welcome to land, bitches!

Standing tall, on the wings of our dreams. Rise and fall, um, on the wings of... #ps

Here's a photograph of a turned off fountain, which is about as interesting as, Chicago. #tebow #peg

Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit being on the side of the street I need to be on.

13 days too soon to ask for a miracle.

Not sure who to hate more. Americans, Italians or the French just for the hell of it.