Hey.. "RU1NER" ..Pokerpro says you're $5,500.00 in the hole. You know why? YOU FUCKING SUCK! Call a shove with bottom pair? Fuck you..

Fuck you, "Dr. NoLose". You should be sued for malpractice. All in on the turn and you call w/ a gutshot? Blow me..

GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK WITH THE MIRACLE RIVERS, @POKERSTARS. FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK YOU, DOC! YOU PIECE OF SHIT! Relying on luck is why you're DOWN $800 and I trend upward..

FUCKING HELL!! NO JUSTICE!! Not even five minutes later, on another table.... Donk catches miracle river. I hate @pokerstars.

What fucking luck. Runner runner quad aces after I hit trip Kings on flop. Fuck you, @Pokerstars. Shit software.

Hit trip jacks on flop.. lost to trip kings. Notice how Jokerstars gave the donkey Woumpus KKs twice in a row. Fuck you.

Where can i buy some motherfucking cheese?

Deep in the same tourney.. All-in with pocket rockets.. Of course some asshole hits trips on river.

Time to double up off of limped aces? Nope. Runner 8, runner 7 for the split. Fuck you @pokerstars.

2k/4k blinds. I raise to 16k w/ KK. This donk, http://bit.ly/1EmiKS ,with A4o calls. I shove on flop. He calls. River 4.

FUCK YOU, @POKERSTARS AND FUCK YOUR RUNNER RUNNER BAD BEATS! C'mon.. 7 turn, 7 river? #FUCKYOU

Straight flush wheel on flop in Omaha H/L. Aces full of kings FTL! Bout time I'm on the good side of a bad beat..

Awww. One momma deer and 4 fawns playing at dusk at the beach..

I'd challenge @DougBenson to finishing a game of #scrabble.

A clever marketing team would rename this "Cock Rub"...

Don't these idiots know that cats can groom their own goddamn self?

Maybe an ex-con will buy it to sniff the seats? Odd marketing ploy...

"that's what i have in my pants, baby" America... Fuck yeah!