Rusty does a pretty good impression of Osama Bin Laden

Over one hundred years of human technological achievements have led us to this moment:

Made and frosted 80 psychedelic cupcakes for the VML bakesale today #swag

When you want to seduce a man, there's only one name in women's perfumes:

@serafinowicz Saw this tonight and was excited for Brian's next exciting business venture!

Finally found my new LinkedIn picture!

Rusty hung up on me when we were Facetiming. DICK MOVE BRO

The "Valentines Day for One" section of my local Duane Reade

SALT IN THE WOUND MOM

I feel like this movie title sums up Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston's career

Saw this on the way to the gym this morning. GOD IS ANGRY

For my 2000th tweet, I present this picture of Rusty giving zero fucks.

@AndrewWK We just got a new dog this weekend! He likes to party hard.

Also missin this guy xHardxCorex

Everybody say hello to Rusty.

I don't think @huffingtonpost could have picked a more hilarious picture to compliment this headline.

From the looks of the email Nintendo sent me, Kirby sure is excited to star in a new game!

This image will make you fall in love with contextual ads. Google Reader<3

R.I.P. to my pup Bailey. Today I celebrate your life by doing what you do best; lay on the couch. I'll miss you.