Mailbag: Four new cc offers from Chase today. Maybe it won't be so bad if the USPS goes out of business.

My copy of Dr. Who Magazine, signed by Colin Baker. My ma pulled it from her attic to show off my nerd cred.

This is going to be the most gangsta block party in the history of gangsta block parties #gisforGIMP

Hey boys check out my twat! @nealpollack @taradublinrocks

To increase sales of my next novel I've included a cute kitten in my author photo. A cute kitten devouring me.

You want to bitch that $0.99 ebooks are driving book prices down? That's $0.98 more than my remaindered book.

According to Fox News Herman Cain was born in "Republican." That should clear up any birth certificate issues.

Introducing her highness, Princess Pointy Right Boob. (photo courtesy Yahoo)

Meet my writing team:

Portland is apparently into #rejectedcandyhearts - it's the only thing trending (see trend map)

Taken at art store in SE Portland. Yep, we Put A Bird On It.

Facebook suggests I become a Librarian. Or a Suicide Girl.

I defy you to find anything cuter than a makeout session between a chocolate lab & pitbull puppy

Let my fingers do the walking - last night in SF, attempting very hard to remember how to play the bass.

Yes, I had dreads in college. Yes, I was part raccoon also.

This fake woman on Facebook is a real ANGEL and I can prove it. Note scatter patterns near her ass: A Fart Halo

The more or less mad scientist. Well not mad, maybe just a little vexed?

The missing link between heroin and cereal. From the dictionary people.

You have to give Elmo credit for showing exactly how much he can fit in his mouth.

Texas Brisket: midway through the smoking process