I’m an artist with office supplies.

My weather app wants me to dress suspiciously.

My date for this evening's tornado sirens is Larissa.

How's this? The end. Thank god that's over.

Like a dummy, I only tasted 2 of the 12 flavors. (PS they're counting swirls as flavors)

Obviously I'm not on WWF very often, but I'm gonna try again. Hit me up!

The poorly behaved tree

Silly tree. That's not where you go. Get back up in the sky!

Yo McDonalds: I know I'm only paying $1 but why short me an inch of drink?

About to get all Gallagher up in here #babyshower

I <3 my dentist!! Dr Timothy Kutas in #Memphis

Apparently jehovah's witnesses can't "read" the sticker that says "no religion welcome"

Of 9 MSNBC "Top Headlines", 3 are "sponsored by" titles. Shameful.

2 Roadhouse Teas in & I'm feelin' goooood

Piercings are sexy?

35 y/o Cara loves rainbow cake just as much as 34 y/o Cara

Roast chicken is NOT a good flavor for potato chips

Guess where I'm going. Yay.

We're gonna dominate this year's Penny Wars

Current status: praying I make it to the tire place