@idvssuperego and red haired hipster Satan with a handle bar stache balances things right back to normal. sigh.

@mayjah - print this 12 times.

Monk in a Best Buy. Wish I knew why this amuses me so.

'Teen Romance' squicks me out already, so this just seems like a description one word too many. And I don't have kids.

"If you do not follow directions, alarm will sound." I'll leave it a mystery for you as to why this picture is blurry.

I work with people who are paid for their smarts. Somebody out there is due a huge refund.

One of the rare moments when I'm not the worst driver out there.

This guy feels really light headed.

All I have to do is find the two cars with these license plate numbers. Then the Coke Rewards will totally pay off.

Different floor, different kitchen, and I'm still being stalked by a fucking baby carrot. How's you're day?

Fog is gonna eatcha. Or me. Probably me.

Hey moon, a little full of yourself, no?

I drove to my patent's house and straight into Electric Boogaloo. I can't get a better pic without having to Step Up.

As technology gets smaller, toilets get larger.

Two human karaoke microphones spotted in the cosmetics aisle at the drug store.

A fancy restaurant took my button hole in the napkin virginity today.

This ran past my head.

- Sent from the cement bunker I will make the husband build when he wakes the fuck up.

Every hour, on the hour, David Bowie pops out of this guy's hair and steals a baby.

AH HA HA. Construction hit a gas line and now our cars are locked down in the structure. Of course that happened.

If I laugh at this, will God spit in my food?