What good is a sign about something that happened two blocks away? Just put the sign there!

I had no idea JLo drove an Expedition ...

Holy crap! My mother sent her first tweet!

@magnetcat See attachment.

It may have a Hemi, but that parking spot is not a demi.

@lfjii See attached.

Asian Zing!!!

At least somebody gives two shits.

Double medal; doppelbock

Yuengling: Turn on the Dark

I prefer the White Tea & Vitamin E; the Gold is too harsh on my skin & makes my junk smell funny.

Almost cornholed!

Paas: Happy Easter and bite my wrinkly ballsack!

Does anyone else find the Cylon eye in the WHS Vail setup ... disconcerting? cc: @willsmith

@lfjii how far did you throw that whole grain muffin? Even the ants in South Carolina won't eat it!

I think this one's a goner.

These Croc Mammoths maybe look goofy but they're keeping sicky boy's tootsies nice and toasty warm!

If you see me on the roads, beware. I am stupid enough to buy a Chrysler AND nearly sideswipe you.

Watching the Puppy Bowl with my man @strongbaddawg

Congratulations @jonathancoulton ... you're all that "and more."