@serafinowicz Siri #FAIL (thank God)

For those of you who aren't Pay Wall impaired check out the very funny "Jeremy Clarkson: My Week" in The Times

Top tip for Morrisons - remove the poo from the Rump of Beef before cooking it

Excited to have just received my copy of @themanwhofell new book :)

Artist Paul Nobel has been influenced by @serafinowicz 's critically acclaimed 2010 piece "Turd Race"

I wonder if this letter from Sky TV is legally binding? #FreeTV

Yes! Just got my very own iPhone spell check #FAIL

Look at the goodies that Karl Pilkington's agent sent me :-)

My cousin, Sarah, was bough a personalized chocolate bunny for Easter by her boyfriend Mark = S&M Bunny

School traffic chaos caused by @NewcastleCC major left/right roadworks sign #FAIL

@Glinner How much will you give me for this one?

Isabel just met the incredibly friendly & nice lads of @JLSOfficial Mucho thanks again to @dragonjones

Does anyone know how to pronounce this director's name?

@suziperry I've "improved" your profile photo for #movember

@DuncanBannatyne Crikey, Hollywood doesn't waste much time!