These are perhaps the pointiest shoes that I have ever seen on a human.

WE'RE NEARLY IN BRIGHTON.

Front page of today's Metro. Public interest, and all that bollocks.

So help me, I am outside the M25. *stares at NotCity*

It's always a good night with @TheNatFantastic when you're calling out lefties on toilet walls graffiti.

Apart from @ldnjeerios and @twisst, these are all pornbots. *looks at @twitter, disappointedly*

Yes, I'm back in the Good Hair Club.

The only curious aspect is that they're not actually at all strong. #altoids

The RAF have been taken on an outing to see The Wizard of Oz. Bless.

Is this a new breed of hipster? #slightlymetal #hipsterwatch

Has @TheGreenParty been taken over by @Horse_ebooks?

Oooh, need to see this on the stage.

@scattermoon It would be this, but with a cool trenchcoat.

Is it me, or does the font on my screen wonky? Or is this like when a common word suddenly starts sounding odd?

I do think I looked kinda awesome as a guy. Think I might do it again. #drag

MORE DRAG (with @ArmyofSnails)

IN DRAG TONIGHT

Huge respect to the bloke dressed in 40s clothing at the station this morning. #howishenotdeadfromexposure

See! It's -1! *mugs old woman for fur coat*

Just been instructed to "obey god". Not sure what he wants me to do yet.